It's been 5 weeks since my dad passed away. Five very long weeks. And this weekend marks a pretty monumental day for Sidney, something she has had her mind on for over 5 weeks. Throughout his short illness, Sidney was very focused on making sure Papa would make it to her First Communion. The first couple of days she would ask if we thought he would be strong enough to walk on her special day. And as the days wore on, she became less focused on his method of mobility, and simply focused on his presence. She would say things like "I don't care if he's in a wheelchair, I just want him to be there."
And when he was very sick, and we knew the prognosis was incredibly poor, I drove Sidney to the ICU to spend the day with us. I will never forget our conversation that morning: "Mom, do you think Papa will be alive for my First Communion? With tears streaming down my face, I could only shake my head as I reached for her hand in the backseat. Together we sobbed quietly, wet crocodile tears that just wouldn't stop.
So as her big day approaches tomorrow, I dread to see those tears again when she thinks back to her deep requests for his presence at her First Communion. Maybe she won't ask....because maybe she senses his presence in a different way. I sure hope she feels his spirit around her. Those two with a special bond, one that can never be replaced.
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