Winter-little things

As we sit in the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic, I wanted to quick look back and remember the fun we had this winter season of 2019-2020. Before we all were isolated in our homes (except yours truly who must go into the hospital every day). I cried today for the first time since this all started, and I cried 4 times. Fear for the unknown. Sadness for what is lost. Hope that we will get through this untouched.

 

But I can't live in that space too often, life moves on. So up with the bootstraps!

 

 In no particular order, here's some random photos off my phone.

 

The elementary school collected 2 liter soda pop bottles for the ring toss game at the carnival. They collected loads of these bottles. And then Sidney proceeded to bring EIGHT back home. The girl is a master at ring toss!

 

 

We woke up on Regan's birthday to our house being TP'd.
Our security cameras actually caught the little buggers on video the night before and woke me up, but it was minutes too late and they were already headed down the street.

I laughed. Because really, who doesn't want some fun loving TP on their birthday!? And we cleaned up 7 rolls of it!!

Although she asked around, the little vandalizing fellas haven't come clean.

 

(side note: I wish I would've kept all that TP now that we can't find any on store shelves).

 

We had lots of fires, and cuddled up around them after a busy weekend or long day at the rink. There is something about the smell and heat of a fire that just brings us all together. We tend to congregate around the fire, often me and the girls huddled up on the hearth. But this time, I caught Ryan and Lincoln snuggled in together.

 

Grandma Jan came back from a quick Arizona trip, all tanned and filled up with Vitamin D. I'm thankful now that she's here this winter and can isolate herself and not be traveling.

 

As the snow began to melt, we busted out Lincoln's new bike from his birthday last year. He was hesitant at first, but is already cruising around on that thing like he did with his little one. And he's so proud to be riding this bigger one.

 



 

I thought I had seen it all. And then, while volunteering, someone showed up with this dog in a sling. I took a double take, and then a photo. Because, it's a dog in a sling!?

 

Lincoln picked up on reading, thanks to Dick and Jane. They really are the best. They're short and repetitive and easy enough to finish in one setting. He's already graduating onto bigger books now.

 

His teacher sent home some of his work from school.

Ahhhh, I giggled and giggled reading his "brave" spelling as I thought back to both girls in kindergarten with the same types of work.

Sound it out: 'uvn'

 

 

Regan and I volunteered with her summer club softball team sorting and sorting nearly 300 pizza orders from her team. The association sold pizzas for a fundraiser. Thank you to those who supported her!

 

And finally, sometimes I fail miserably at taking pictures with the girls. Here we were watching Lincoln play hockey. I had one girl with the giggles, eager to take a picture, and another one who was annoyed and cold and not in the mood. Can you guess which description fits each girl :)

 

And now, as the winter season slows down, we are met with the most unique situation of quarantine and isolation and social distancing.

The kids are doing online school for the foreseeable future,

 Ryan's working from home, and I'm being greeted at night with "were you safe today?"

meaning was I able to avoid close contact with anyone.
People are hoarding paper products, the store shelves are empty.

Softball is cancelled.

Volleyball is cancelled.

We're filling our time with games and bike rides, more fires, movies, arts and crafts, play dou and family time.

Trying to make the most of this and taking one day at a time.

 Each day, we are one day closer to this being over.

Perspective

Today was one of those days where life was put in perspective. Let's be real, I work in a hospital, it happens daily. But today was a little different.....

Last evening, I received a notification that "power was out" in our area. I mildly panicked, quickly tried to tidy up the house, finish laundry, power up all phones/iPods, and find candles and flashlights. I felt relieved going to bed while we still had power! Sadly, that ended around 5:15am when we woke to two screaming kids who realized that both their nightlights were out and white noise machines were silent. The house was pitch black. And silent.

After calming said screaming children, we laid in bed, checking texts/voicemails and emails hoping to find an answer to the outage, which was now throughout the neighborhood. The most we could find is that it would be a couple of hours at best before we were restored. Thankfully, we were all heading to school/work so we didn't have to sit in the dark very long.

I managed to get ready for my day (with the help of a battery powered lantern-thank you mom and dad!) and then headed to the grocery store, which I discovered was being powered by a generator, to grab coffee and donuts. After all, it was barely 6am and those kids needed breakfast...and we needed coffee! I left for work and eventually Ryan brought the kids to school. We still didn't have power.

Throughout the day, I received messages like the one below. I was frustrated and pre-occupied with worry about regaining electricity. Things buzzing in my mind included: frozen pipes, spoiled food, darkness and cold.

And then, about mid-day, I was graced with the presence of a cute little girl. She was about Lincoln's age and she made me hit the 'pause' button on my day. I listened as her adorable voice chatted away to her dreary eyed mother. Her gorgeous little bald head and slight limp in her walk pained my heart. And I realized at that point, any worry I had in my life held nothing against what that mommy was dealing with. The fact that we were on hour 5 without power no longer mattered. And just like that, my life squealed into perspective again.

I know that it can seem like I'm a pushover as a parent. But in reality, I like to think that I have life in perspective. I don't get worked up over spilled milk. I'm just grateful to have children spilling milk. I despise a messy house, but I thank my lucky stars for a family to make it messy and a job to help pay for the roof over our head. And yes, our kids drag out the bedtime routine like nobody's business. Yet I know to appreciate having the strength and ability to climb those stairs 3 times over again for "just one more good night!". So while it was incredibly inconvenient to lose power for a total of 7 hours today, it really was a minor problem in the grand scheme of things.

School life lately

We continue to try to squeeze everything in during what has turned out to be an incredibly busy school year. The girls are thriving in their respective grades, doing well and enjoying (for the most part) the school year. Regan is learning all about middle school and continues to need a lot of help with homework (she has A LOT), as she would prefer to chase Lincoln around the house or create new slime. Staying on task is not her forte when there's something more exciting to be doing (stealing my phone and taking selfies!). Now when it's a project she enjoys (like art), she will sit and work for hours on end.

Sidney is the polar opposite of her big sister. She is prepared and organized and insistent on completing her homework, mostly on her own, and often days in advance. Sure she needs some help at times, and we recite spelling words, but she usually is the one to remind us to help her practice. She is one organized little girl and I am forever thankful for that amazing trait she holds.

And then there's our little man, who is learning all about scissors and colors and glue and how to follow instructions. He tries so hard in his preschool class, brings home all sorts of fun art projects, but we all know he would much rather be running around on the playground! Don't get me wrong, they do plenty of running during the day and he is part of a great curriculum. He is loving being one of the "big kids" at his school and all of the freedom and additional toys he gets to experience.

Ryan and I spend our days working hard and rarely have a moment to connect during the work day. It's wild how busy we both have become at work this year. A new role landed in my lap a couple of months ago, so I'm still learning and trying to be successful. And Ryan's in the midst of planning season...I don't need to say anymore :) We race here and there in the evenings: from dance to gymnastics, or softball clinics to orthodontist appointments. Sometimes I feel that I'm failing in all aspects of life, mother, daughter, wife, friend, employee, coworker, etc because I simply ran out of time at the end of the day. We are busy and hearts are full as we ride this wave we call life.

Life: Happiness and Health

With working (nearly) full time and 3 young children, sometimes it's all we can do to stay afloat. I wrestle with being "good enough" both at home and at work. Knowing there is always more to be done on both fronts: an extra hour at the hospital could wrap up a lot of work, but the loss of an hour with the kids is time I will never get back. The house needs tending to, my car looks like a bag of pretzels exploded inside and the kids are begging for some attention. And by the time they go to bed, we both crash on the couch in pure exhaustion. This is life. I've read a lot of inspirational pieces lately, but a few have hit home. One (which I don't have a copy of), told me to stop looking for the next milestone/opportunity, and instead, enjoy the current moment. Boy are we trying hard to do just that. Not looking for what next week or next month has in store, but swallowing up the time we have right now. Enjoy it to the fullest. 

The second was this letter, because it really is funny and matches our lives exactly right now (I've shortened/edited it a bit): 

"Dear Toddler Mom,

There are smushed Cheerios on the seats of your car.  You went to work with a Donald Duck sticker on your rear end…and didn’t find it until this evening when you were cooking dinner. 

The tantrums are at a whole new level.  How dare you turn on { garbarge trucks }, when he clearly wanted { trains }?  I mean, he asked for "ucky", but don’t you read minds?  Also, he wanted chicken nuggets for dinner- no, wait, now he wants pizza.  Or cookies.  No cookies!  Stop it, mommy.  Apple juice, please?  Is avocado a fruit or a vegetable?  Doesn’t matter, that’s all he’ll eat for dinner anyway.  Did he just throw the apple juice on the floor?  And these are just the tantrums that we can semi-explain.

What about the tantrum on the way to the park the other day?  When you had to carry a flailing screaming toddler all the way home?  You had no idea what caused it, but you were sure someone would stop you and accuse you of kidnapping that poor little guy.  Actually, you wished they would have.  Maybe the nice officer would give you a ride home.  Or just turn on his siren – that should distract him, right?

The laundry you just folded is now artfully strewn across the floor.  You can’t remember the last time you used the restroom without fingers sticking under the door or someone yelling “Moooommmmmmmyyyyyyy” through the door.  Is there a wine delivery service in town?

I know today seems hard.  But soak it up.  Because one day you’ll wish for these days back.  Someday you’ll shed a tear thinking about the little hands that were “helping” with the laundry.  You’ll miss the hours spent dancing to  music.  Crashing cars off the edge of the couch.  Plus, think of all the calories you burned carrying a thirty pound resisting child home.  Definitely enough for a margarita, right?

Soak it up.  Sing “Let It Go” at the top of your lungs.  Run in circles around the house.  Have a wine break as necessary.  It’ll all be okay.  Bedtime is near.

You’ve STILL got this, momma." 

Reading that, talking to friends, it all helps. The girls are older and how quickly we forgot just how different having a toddler is. But I just know we will miss it when this phase is over. So we're hanging on for dear life! 

The last piece, I stumbled upon and it resonated hard with my own line of work. The stuff that happens inside the walls of the hospital, it's tough. Day in and day out, we are faced with scenarios and problems that are sometimes unexplainable. They're sad and emotional; but they make me so very grateful for the health of my family. Something taken for granted all too often. 

"Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left." 

A great reminder for this month of thanksgiving. 

Our chaos

I've mentioned in previous posts just how chaotic our life is these days. And when I loaded up my car last Thursday morning, I had to laugh. It was the perfect picture of our crazy life. 

With activities, sports, field trips, doctor's appointments and 2 working parents, we are B.U.S.Y.

This is what my car looked like that Thursday morning (and really most mornings)..... 

There's Sidney's blue backpack on the floor, filled with her swim suit, field trip shoes (aka: sandals turned tennis shoes) and other trinkets she feels a need to bring with her on her day at school. 

Then we have Regan's pink and brown back pack on the floor. Inside is a lunch, packed the night before including a beverage, all in a cooler style lunch bag because there is no fridge for her to use. She also has a small water bottle in her bag for use throughout her day. Alongside her backpack is her red/white water bottle so she has some cold water for golf clinic, which the summer staff will walk her to/from and ensure she arrives and returns safely to her summer programming. I sensed her softball game would be cancelled due to the downpour or we would've had yet another bag filled with her softball gear and a picnic dinner for all of us to share.

Next is Lincoln's diaper bag. He was off to see the ENT that morning. Inside were a few toys, his breakfast (and a spoon!) that he choose not to eat and I would later feed him while we waited to be called for the doctor. A change of clothes that I'm sure is much to small for him and loads of diapers and wipes. 

I packed my own lunch in that green cooler on the seat. Not exactly healthy on this particular day (oatmeal and some strawberries) as the fridge was running thin and we really needed to get to the grocery store. Thankfully there's a pretty decent cafeteria at the hospital where I can pick up something if needed. I tossed my purse in for good measure, not that there's much in there other than 3 bottles of hand sanitizer, some hair bands for the girls, stray earrings and hopefully my wallet. 

Lincoln's black bag of breast milk, packed with frozen ice packs for his drop off at school later in the day sits in the pile somewhere too.

And my cleaned pump supplies are in another bag. Thank goodness I was able to get another pump this time around so I can leave one in my office and one at home and only lug around a small bag of supplies each day. 

Lastly, I somehow managed to make myself breakfast; though I couldn't eat it on this day because I was driving through one heck of a storm to get to St. Paul for Lincoln's doctor. I think I finally ate it sometime around lunch....so much for that healthy oatmeal and strawberries. 

Ahh, so there you have it. This is what chaos looks like. But we manage. And we love it.  

Honesty

I'm pretty good at feeling  the mommy guilt. Sometimes things are tough and other times I'm just tired. But in true reality fashion, here's an honest rundown of life in our house:

This morning I took the kids to a bakery for donuts. For breakfast. Pure sugar with chocolate glaze. Big ones. And they both ate every last bite.

I've been known to not change a onsie that might have been dribbled on by pee. Sorry Lincoln....but it will dry.

There are times when I crank up the music in an effort to drown out the nagging whines from the back seat. Doesn't usually work but it gives my ears a well needed break

Sometimes we will say "no" to the girls' request for dessert....but then I go ahead and sneak a cookie :) In all fairness, I have seen Ryan do this too!

I once forgot to bring Lincoln's carseat at pick up. Which meant he had to sit in Sidney's carseat and she in Regan's until we could get home. Oh but let's face it, he's big enough. Right?! Not exactly, but Sidney did reach across and help him stay upright as we drove. HUGE mama guilt on that one!

And lastly...

I've been known to hold my baby while quickly using the bathroom. Yes, I've had to do this with all 3 at one time or another.

So there you have it. It's not always roses around here. It's fun and full of life. As long as we're all healthy, happy, and safe, my prayers have been answered.

Bear with us....

As we have been blessed with the "blue screen of death" on our laptop. In other words, until we purchase a new one, fix and transfer all the data from the old one, my blog posts and pictures will be delivered via iPhone. Which also means: much fewer posts :( hope you can survive without our (boring) updates!