This. is. hard

The week is half over. Which is heavenly because it has been a trying week. 

I hope we can someday look back at this time and remember more than just the tough times, because man has it been hard. 

It's one thing to be quarantined. 

It's another to be working from home doing a job that is meant to be inside the walls of the hospital.

It's another to be sharing WiFi and work space with 3 kids and your husband.  

It's another to be teaching kindergarten. 

All this with no end in sight. 

This. Is. Hard. 

Our WiFi can't keep up with the demand. After spending an hour on hold, only to argue with the tech lady about internet speeds, I gave up. 

But a download speed of less than 1 when it should hoover 40-100 is just not cutting it. 

I can constantly be heard yelling: "One device!" which means everyone gets to browse on only one device at a time. 

None of this multi-tasking business. 

I really wish Lincoln's requirements included only these academic goals. 

Because we've mastered them ten times over.

 But using the Seesaw app, and all of the apps within apps has my head spinning most days. 

Core classes, specialists, optional versus required. 

Twenty-two assignments in his inbox, all of which need us to sit beside him and ensure he understands what to do (because half the time we can't find the instructions buried within a link to the left, a click to the right). 

This. Is. Hard. 

This picture below is how Lincoln feels about Distant Learning. 

He hates it.
Every single second. 

Each morning, we beg and bribe for him to start the learning and stay on task. 

But learning off his iPad is boring to him. 

And because we are working full-time demanding jobs, we don't have time to allow for 15 minute transitions, more begging and another 10 minutes of transition. 

Sometimes we tag team: one starts and the other helps him finish. 

On a good day, he wraps it up in an hour or two. 

Other days (like today), we're still trying to get to the assignments at 5pm. 

I thank my lucky stars that the girls have done such a wonderful job at starting and completing their learning each day. 

This. Is. Hard. 

I saw this from a friend today. 

And I have to remind myself to do the best we can.

Let go of some of the pressure (on all of us).   

Tonight when we snuggled into bed, and he grabbed a book eager to read to me, I realized that learning doesn't have to happen on a Seesaw app or a link provided by the school. Those connections, those snuggles, the gaining confidence to read under flashlight are what I hope he remembers from these hard times. 

Taking a deep breath, and we'll try again tomorrow. 

Life during the pandemic

I want to be able to look back on this time in our lives and remember what life was like.

Social distancing

Schools moved to online "distant learning"

Parents moved their offices to home

Grocery store shelves went bare (que hoarding!)

Toilet paper, paper towels and Clorox wipes flew off the shelves

A few photos to capture this strange time.

Lots and lots and lots of screen time, including fun apps for kids to have chats with kids and family members all while different face filters create all sorts of giggles.

Game night. Pretty much any  night of the week. Our kids have learned card games, new board games, puzzles, and more.

All gyms closed, and so I dug out any workout/exercise items we had laying around. Lincoln took it upon himself to open "Lincoln's gym". We workout daily.

Memes like the one below flooded social media.

I liked this one

We cleaned out the garage, and pulled out all of the toys we haven't used in forever. Stilts and a pogo stick to name a few!

Lincoln face timed me, and laughed himself silly with these filters :)

While it might have been the nicest April on record so far, there is no softball practicing allowed. I liked this meme on a softball group facebook page I follow.

Jimmy Fallon (and any late night talk show host), moved filming of their shows to their homes. This show in particular makes me laugh, because his kiddos often come into the view of the camera and it reminds me of how it feels for all of us trying to work from home with kids underfoot.



Did I mention we are having a LOT of screen time?

But at least they are huddled in front of the warm fire together :)

We are giving ourselves grace on this whole screen time. They're (fairly) happy and frankly, just trying to figure this all out themselves too.

We can't really do a lot of home "projects" because that would entail going to the store to buy necessary items. But we are cleaning out drawers and closets.

I finished Lincoln's baby book (better late that never!) and in the process, cleaned out a drawer holding all of these expired epi-pens.

There's a lot of expired money sitting right there.

We're contemplating getting a dog (like so many other families right now). We're stuck at home, it's the perfect time. Ryan has nicknamed our fake dog "Covid" already; ….for the record, he's not on board with this idea.

 At all.

However, a month ago our neighbors brought home this adorable pup.

She found a hole in the fence and comes over daily for a visit and to burn off some energy.

The kids adore her, and so do we :)



I taught Regan how to play Yahtzee.

And then beat the pants off her :) HA!

The first official "stay at home" request looked something like this.

Although we had been staying at home two weeks prior to the start of this.

Doing our part. Fully expecting this to be extended beyond 4/10.

Some of my teams started Zoom meetings.

never had I heard of such a platform for meetings, but we all quickly learned to talk fast because there is a 40 minute limit and we are used to 60 minute meetings!

(and yes, I'm sitting outside on this particular meeting, because Ryan and I share the quiet space indoors for meetings. And he beat me to it during this meeting, so I went to the next option for some quiet: outside)

More of Lincoln having conversations with family, this time Grandma Jan. He made her laugh so hard with these dancing bear filters.

Distant learning with Lincoln is a lot of hands on help. The girls take care of it on their own, and for that we are thankful!

Here is Lincoln's teacher "reading" to the class. He giggled and smiled when he heard her voice. It was almost like she was right there in the room. Sadly, by day 3 of story-time, he was over it. It's just not as much fun when we aren't at school. Hang in there buddy.

Passing time with "art" class: dyeing Easter eggs.

More screen time.

Silver lining, she's hanging out with us a little  more :)

The problem with not driving your vehicles very often....the batteries tend to die.

Seriously, Ryan's truck died TWICE in one week because we didn't start it every day.

Fine. you win.

We now make a point to start it daily.

These are some strange times. Scary times. 

Hang in there folks! Stay safe! 

WFH

WFH-work from home

It's a new term I've used a lot in the last several months. One that has been fairly uncommon in my language because it's hard to WFH when you work in a hospital. I have had the opportunity to spend most Fridays over the last couple of years officing out of my home, but never did I imagine I would move my entire work space home. 

But then again, never did I imagine much of what is happening right now. We are living in unprecedented times.
It's scary, it's unpredictable. 

It's unbelievable. 

And it's hard. 

My mom as well as a friend's dear mom both recently sent me handmade masks to bring in on my last day of work to donate. Allina asked the community and then received many amazing donations of masks. 

Some of my coworkers then spent countless hours helping sort as well as assembling face shields as we prepare for these most challenging times.  

My last day inside the walls of the hospital, I was issued a face mask. It's terrifying and sad and emotional and exhausting. 

It was then decided, in an effort to preserve those precious masks, to move myself and most of my team to our homes. 

It is not ideal. 

But nothing is ideal right now. 

I left my beautiful office (and dual monitors!), my amazing office-mates, the comfort of work, seeing my patients face to face and working side by side with doctors, nurses, therapists and the rest of the rehab team. 

Instead, my revised "sit to stand" desk (aka the kitchen island) now holds my tiny laptop and I have never felt more disconnected from my patients and families. 

We have spent hours upon hours this week helping to troubleshoot IT problems, submit tickets for new apps/access, and learning a new-normal. 

I'm a pro at blocking my cell number during outbound calls. 

We zoom meetings. 

I'm "connected" in a whole different way. 

No one knows how long this will last. 

And while I (and my whole family) feels safer to have me WFH, 

I'm optimistic that some day, we will get back to our old routines. 

For now, 

I've traded my typical lunch workout at the hospital gym, 

for walks around the block with my new "coworkers"....my family :) 

Stay safe everyone. 

Hanging in there-COVID 19

We, like the rest of the world, are doing our best to stay healthy and avoid catching this terrible COVID19 virus. We greet text messages and emails with a "we're hanging in there" reply. But what does that really look like?....

Our lives these days are dramatically different than the usual. We have now "sheltered in our home" for the last 12 days. By recommendation of the Governor, but not ordered until today. That means exactly as it sounds. We leave only for a walk in nature, or around the block (and again and again and again), or for me to go to the grocery store. I do still have to go to the hospital, so Ryan suggests I take one for the team and also do our grocery shopping since I'm already more exposed. My shopping trips are very limited. I'm in/out as fast as possible, grabbing our supplies, then wiping them down with a bleach wipe before putting them into our cupboards. Is that overboard?, I hope we never have to find out.

What else does it look like....

School from home....we haven't formally started distant learning (this week is spring break in our district). We had a few attendance/check in days, and we have all of our packets and chromebooks and websites ready to go for the official start. However, Lincoln is in Kindergarten, and needs a lot more guidance than his sisters. So his learning will look different. And I've opted to take spring break as an opportunity to start some of his assignments, a little learning everyday. And always reading. Thank goodness we have our own library of books, workbooks and flash cards.

Plus, I've memorized his matrix learning grid and instead of sitting down to do "school", we incorporate it into everyday activities. One lesson was "teach a parent a song from school". Both sisters helped a little on this one, as he (with their leading), taught us the school song. It was a blast from the past as Regan tried to remember her elementary school song lyrics. But so much fun :)

The pantry is fully stocked with snacks, though they are not asking for snacks all day long. This surprises me. We do, however, eat every meal together, which is a huge change for our busy family. This also means we run the dishwasher everyday!
With the weather still chilly, we still go outside for walks in the neighborhood. Or bike riding. We also still have a lot more fires in the fireplace. The kiddos ask for one daily, but with our wood supply dwindling, we are spreading them out to every few days. And sometimes I use it as a method for my cinnamon rolls to rise :)

Our kids are getting a lot of screen time. It's not all they do, but they do a lot of it. With two parents working, it keeps them quiet when we are on calls or trying to meet a deadline. BUT, we are also doing non-screen activities like play-dou, puzzles, painting, etc. Our most favorite activity, however, is when the neighbors use social distancing and put their new puppy into our backyard so everyone (puppy and our humans) burn off some much needed energy. It's a win for everyone!

We also have a plethora of softball paraphernalia and so practicing, albeit much different than anyone prefers, is still a possibility. We can pitch and hit into the bownet, we can practice grounders against the rebound net, we use chalk to create the training "ladder" for agility.

But it's not as motivating when we aren't amongst our peers. We miss our friends. We miss our routine. We miss softball and dance and volleyball and yes, even school. And so there are tears and tantrums, sass and anger. We're trying hard, we're doing our part, and will continue to "shelter at home" until this is all over.

Please- Stay home

When I started working at the hospital nearly 17 years ago, my coworkers asked me how I would handle the stress? Burnout is very high in this line of work. My answer was simple, I exercise. I run, I workout, I move. 

Throughout my time, the hospital remodeled a beautiful new fitness center. Not state of the art, but beautiful and sufficient for my simple needs. I’m lucky enough that it is so close, I can sneak away from my office and the patient care unit most days over the noon hour. Me and a small handful of the 10,000 employees, never more than 6 others. It’s the best of both worlds to have a gym smack dab at your work place. 

6 days ago, as this horrible COVID-19 virus crept into MN and started spreading, I text Ryan “as long as I can go to the gym, I’ll be ok”. He laughed. Knowing it’s my outlet for a stressful job. 

Fast forward to yesterday ....when that gym and all others across the state, were (rightfully) closed. I was devastated, and have cried no less than 8,541 tears from an incredibly stressful and trying time. It’s exhausting, and saddening, and hard to work in healthcare. And it’s even harder during a pandemic. 

There’s no doubt that we will get past this. We will look back and be more grateful for our health, our freedom (and an endless supply of toilet paper at Target!). In the meantime, for anyone reading, I urge you to stay home, stay safe. That means interact with only your immediate family: no play dates, no sleepovers, no extended family gatherings. Please, for my life and those in all hospitals, please, stay home

Winter-little things

As we sit in the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic, I wanted to quick look back and remember the fun we had this winter season of 2019-2020. Before we all were isolated in our homes (except yours truly who must go into the hospital every day). I cried today for the first time since this all started, and I cried 4 times. Fear for the unknown. Sadness for what is lost. Hope that we will get through this untouched.

 

But I can't live in that space too often, life moves on. So up with the bootstraps!

 

 In no particular order, here's some random photos off my phone.

 

The elementary school collected 2 liter soda pop bottles for the ring toss game at the carnival. They collected loads of these bottles. And then Sidney proceeded to bring EIGHT back home. The girl is a master at ring toss!

 

 

We woke up on Regan's birthday to our house being TP'd.
Our security cameras actually caught the little buggers on video the night before and woke me up, but it was minutes too late and they were already headed down the street.

I laughed. Because really, who doesn't want some fun loving TP on their birthday!? And we cleaned up 7 rolls of it!!

Although she asked around, the little vandalizing fellas haven't come clean.

 

(side note: I wish I would've kept all that TP now that we can't find any on store shelves).

 

We had lots of fires, and cuddled up around them after a busy weekend or long day at the rink. There is something about the smell and heat of a fire that just brings us all together. We tend to congregate around the fire, often me and the girls huddled up on the hearth. But this time, I caught Ryan and Lincoln snuggled in together.

 

Grandma Jan came back from a quick Arizona trip, all tanned and filled up with Vitamin D. I'm thankful now that she's here this winter and can isolate herself and not be traveling.

 

As the snow began to melt, we busted out Lincoln's new bike from his birthday last year. He was hesitant at first, but is already cruising around on that thing like he did with his little one. And he's so proud to be riding this bigger one.

 



 

I thought I had seen it all. And then, while volunteering, someone showed up with this dog in a sling. I took a double take, and then a photo. Because, it's a dog in a sling!?

 

Lincoln picked up on reading, thanks to Dick and Jane. They really are the best. They're short and repetitive and easy enough to finish in one setting. He's already graduating onto bigger books now.

 

His teacher sent home some of his work from school.

Ahhhh, I giggled and giggled reading his "brave" spelling as I thought back to both girls in kindergarten with the same types of work.

Sound it out: 'uvn'

 

 

Regan and I volunteered with her summer club softball team sorting and sorting nearly 300 pizza orders from her team. The association sold pizzas for a fundraiser. Thank you to those who supported her!

 

And finally, sometimes I fail miserably at taking pictures with the girls. Here we were watching Lincoln play hockey. I had one girl with the giggles, eager to take a picture, and another one who was annoyed and cold and not in the mood. Can you guess which description fits each girl :)

 

And now, as the winter season slows down, we are met with the most unique situation of quarantine and isolation and social distancing.

The kids are doing online school for the foreseeable future,

 Ryan's working from home, and I'm being greeted at night with "were you safe today?"

meaning was I able to avoid close contact with anyone.
People are hoarding paper products, the store shelves are empty.

Softball is cancelled.

Volleyball is cancelled.

We're filling our time with games and bike rides, more fires, movies, arts and crafts, play dou and family time.

Trying to make the most of this and taking one day at a time.

 Each day, we are one day closer to this being over.